Helga and Hedwig

It was only 2 in the afternoon, but Helga and Hedwig, the Gunbridge Bells prostitutes, were already getting ready to walk the streets, believing the earlier they started, the more chance they would have of getting punters. They had been street walkers for a year, having worked previously at the Pleasure Palace brothel in the posh Midas tunnel district, but had both been sacked by the madam, Elvira, for putting the clients off sex.

They lived in a cream-coloured Regency house in the Mount Ephraim area. Sat on a dirty mattress and looking into a cracked mirror on the otherwise bare wall, they applied their make up heavy handedly. This was their squat.

Hedwig, had plucked all her eyebrows out when she was 14 and was applying some pencil eyebrows about an inch higher than they should have been. Helga was animated and excited about the next few hours to come and said “Do you think Mr Quack will be there? I like Mr Quack he’s a right laugh!” she giggled and then sneezed.

Hedwig, rolled her eyes and replied “Fuck Mr Quack, he aint got any money, and anyway, what the fuck is he on about?” Truth be told, Hedwig couldn’t stand Mr Quack, for one thing he only ever said “quack” and on top of that, was always first at the bins, eager to freegain. He certainly was not interested in the lacking carnal delights that they had to offer.

Helga was applying some bright pink lipstick to match her bright pink eye-shadow and bright pink blusher—in fact she had applied the lipstick everywhere—and asked “Do you think we’ll get lucky tonight? I’m beginning to think that maybe we should just do it for free occasionally, as a kind of sample…”.

Hedwig, rolled her eyes again and snapped “If they get a free sample, they’re not going to come back for more, you know that!”. Hedwig always stuck to her guns even when it was blatantly obvious that what she was doing wasn’t working - they had not earned a single penny in a year.